Homeless New Year

It's here,, a new year. Time to rebuild,, time to reload.

It's here,, a new year. Time to explore,, time to just be.

It's here,, a new year. Time for me,, not some reptile.

It's here,, the year of me.

Homeless Starts Over

I am starting over again. Have you ever done that? Being homeless and starting over is different than I thought it would be.

I suppose that the trauma of new beginnings is to be balanced by the safety of not returning to the trauma of old.

I guess the new is to be lived, while the old is to be studied and lessons learned from it. Peace.

Homeless Chaos

Here I am,, homeless in a new place and not in chaos. I always thought that would be the defining moment,, being homeless and that my life would be full of chaos,, but it isn't.

In the moment, I am no longer feeling the extreme pull of chaos,, I am feeling some peace, are you?

I hope you find the peace you may seek,, for me it is being homeless,, what's it for you? Peace.

Homeless Forever?

Homeless this year, maybe.

Homeless in the heart, not.

Homeless, it's where you are.

Homeless is not forever, peace.

Expectations Delayed

I am supposed to go to another city to meet with a client and I receive a text telling not to come until later.

Normally, this would throw me off, but this year, I'm living in the moment and not gonna worry about it.

In the end, planning leads to disaster,, i.e., my marriage and being in the moment leads to living life.

So for a homeless guy, it's no longer planning things,, it's just doing things. Peace.

Homeless Beginnings

I guess you can still say I'm homeless, just not as bad. Through the miracle of friends, I'm not living under a bridge,, I'm just homeless from the places I used to live in.

It ain't so bad, being in new places,,, what's bad is not knowing for how long? Peace.

Merry Christmas To All

Happy Homeless Christmas Eve

I write this piece while being homeless and facing the holiday season alone.

It is the greatest fear anyone can ever have,, being alone. By being alone and homeless, Christmas looses its appeal.

I hope that each of you has a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. Peace.

Growing Old Homeless

I am growing old homeless. I do not fear the growing old part of life,, I do not fear the homelessness,, I fear being alone.

I have now told you my fears,, can you beat me? I haven't told you my dreams,, and I know those dreams keep me going. What are your dreams?

What are the dreams of the homeless? What do the homeless fear? Perhaps,, it is as always,, one must ultimately look into the mirror and face themselves. Peace.

Homeless

I am homeless and living day to day in an environment without roots. I feel alone, tired and am sore.

I suppose that in the end, the only thing that matters is the daily feelings I have and whether I keep them in or let them out.

Remember to help the homeless as they are people who have feelings too. Peace.

Shortest Day Of The Year

It's the shortest day of the year and I'm getting ready to shut down for the holidays.

I have moved to a new town and have found a flop house that I am living in right now.

I begin to feel uneasy as the move is uncertain, new and scary, but I feel better because the move is away from the old and into the new.

I wish each of you a happy holiday season and hope you have many, many more. Peace.

Christmas Joy

I remember the joy I used to have at Christmas, way before the soon to be ex whose name must never again be mentioned in public trapped me in a prison of marriage.

I remember the tree, the family get together and the happiness I had,, never to have that in the prison of marriage.

It is no wonder why there never was joy in prison,, it was all give, give, give and never receive.

I hope each of you out there, homeless or not, has joy today and is not in a prison. Peace.

Homeless Christmas

It is Christmas all over again,, another one that is quickly passing. But what does it mean when I'm homeless?

I have a candle and a plant that is in the lobby of the flop house I'm staying in, so maybe,, Christmas for me is different than for others.

I guess being homeless is not having a sense of connection,, but I have my new friend the plant in the lobby,, so it ain't all bad.

Just buy a homeless person a Christmas present this year. Peace.

Modern Homelessness

You know, I've learned that being homeless is more than just living in different places,,, it is tearing up the heart that I can't root.

I suppose that those who are also homeless, can not root and are not grounded, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, have a nice day and remember the power of self is the power of all. Peace.

Homeless Holidays

Buy a homeless man or woman or child a Christmas present,, something they would use. Buy those "throw away" people a gift from your heart this season.

Hopefully, the love you show will help them,, those "un-pretty people". Remember,, we're all just one tragedy away from being homeless. Peace.

Homeless Justice

I am responsible for those who are homeless and need justice. I am responsible for those who need legal help and can't afford it or are too proud to ask for it.

I am responsible for those,, well,, those people. I am responsible for the homeless people who need representation. Peace.

Homeless With A Plant And A Candle

I'm moving to a new area of Texas shortly and I'm looking for a plant and a candle to share my new space with.

I am moving into a flop house shortly and I know that this time will be spent to find me and to get to love me.

May each of you find joy in your own space. Peace.

Alone,, Or Am I?

Here I am alone again,, or am I? It seems to me that that most of my "prison / marriage" was spent alone with someone who didn't love me or care for anything but what she could get.

So am I alone? Or is it the new way of life,, with me? Am I homeless, or am I present with myself?

Can you be homeless and happy? Or must you be homeless and alone? Peace.

Homeless, Just Plain Homeless

I am homeless and that's all it is. Just plain homeless. I lose a very good friend today and I'm now just plain homeless.

I wonder if love isn't when 2 people know that their time together is very, very limited.

I suppose that people take others for granted when they don't appreciate another,, they only truly love when they treasure their time together.

I wonder if love isn't a fleeting moment and I wonder if the homeless and those who are present don't already know this gem. Peace.

Centering

Can you center and exist when you are homeless and question your right to exist? Well, can you? Peace.

Homeless And Moving Around

I move around a lot. It is what happens when you are homeless. I live one day here and then one day there and then one day wherever.

I am homeless and I am.

Homeless In Court

I represent homeless people in court quite frequently. They are not bad people,, just people like you and me who have never had the breaks necessary to live the life the pretty people live.

I know a hell of a lot of people who look down on the homeless,, they say "those" people are all on welfare, crack or are drunks.

I say this,, never judge a book by its cover and until you walk a mile in their shoes,, you don't know "those" people.

Remember,, we're all one event away from being homeless. Peace.

Slow Down

I am slowing down, but today I am late. I have to be in a different county and overslept. Oops.

On The Road Again

I am on the road again,, just being. I do not enjoy being on the road,, but I am no longer in areas that are what I am used to.

It's funny,, a journey begins with the first steps. I'm taking them,, do you have the courage to take them? Peace.

Wouldn't It Be Nice To,,,

Wouldn't it be nice to not be sick.

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a real house.

Wouldn't it be nice to have others play by the rules.

Wouldn't it be nice to feel love.

Wouldn't it be nice to be free.

Wouldn't it be nice to just to be nice.

Peace for your holidays.

On The Trail

I'm on the trail,, in Austin today. I have a client,, hopefully,, who is arrested and now living in the Travis County Correctional Facility.

I suppose that visiting her there will give a new sense of how nice it is not being in a prison,, that of my own soon to end marriage.

I feel that sometimes, my own rescuing got me in my own brand of trouble. I am certain that my time on the trail is one that will be productive,, unless I rescue, rescue, rescue again. Peace.

Freezing Cold

I am freezing cold and near the interstate. I find the wind break of the overpass a neat way to block the wind.

Later, I'll go to a bookstore and sleep, but just for now,, it's freezing cold. Hope you are warm and cozy. Peace.

Damn Cold This Morning

It's damn cold this morning and I'm hungry. I kinda slept last night and being on the move ain't exactly the most fun I've ever had.

I wonder why people have to be so damn mean, then I realize that vengence is a very cold drink on a freezing morning. Peace.

Homeless In A Hotel

I'm living in a hotel right now and it ain't grand, but it'll do. The hotel is what I call a 1/2 star and at least it stops the rain and wind.

I doubt Mr. and Mrs. America would ever let their children live in a dump like this,, but when you're broke and have no choice,, well,, it's like a palace.

I hope I can stay here for a day or two,,, the owner said something about trading out room and board for legal work. I hope he means what he says. Until tomorrow,, peace.

Homeless And High Fever

I am not doing well at the moment. I am again homeless and am running a high fever.

I suppose that most homeless people have this problem,, how to get better when no money for sawbones or the antibiotics.

In the end,, maybe those around me will catch what I have and feel how I feel,, maybe not.

All I'm saying is this, swine flu ain't nothing compared to what I've got and I ain't got a way to get better. Peace.

On The Road, Homeless

Well, I'm on the road again, homeless. I simply can not afford the cost of staying at this place that I spent damn near 20 years.

It feels too bad. I don't know where I'm moving to, but when I get there, I'll write. Until then,, peace.

Today's The Day

It's on today,, the move. I still don't know where I'm going, but I'm going. It's come down to this,, I've got no more money to hold on to a place with such bad memories.

I suppose that this place has left me with some good memories after 19 years, but, in reality, the thought of living here any longer is full of bad memories and moments.

I suppose that in the end, the memories of bad far out weigh any good of having a roof over my head.

I don't suppose that any of you can understand. I suppose that's how the native Americans feel when forced to live on the reservation and not be allowed to live free as in the old days.

The thought of being confined in a prison is never as good as the reality of freedom. Peace until we meet again.

2 Days Left

I'm moving in 2 days and it doesn't seem possible, but it's true. I am going to move to a new area and start all over again.

I see a new beginning,, a new vision,, a new way of life.

I see freedom,, I see romance and I see adventure. Even when I'm homeless, I see these things for me. Wow.

I suspect that freedom is just a chance to live again with new ideas. I'll go there. Peace.

3 Days Left

I can not believe that in 3 days, I'll be moving,, going on to somewhere new. But I will be doing that.

I have only so much money and time left and then I will be moving. I am certain that in the end, the move will be beneficial, but in the meantime, it's difficult.

I am ready to go,, back to homelessness,, are you? Peace.

4 Days To Go

I have only 4 more days here and then I move. I don't know where I'll go yet, but I'm going somewhere.

I suppose that people who lose their homes can relate to this, but there is a great sadness coming over me and something isn't right.

I guess the people who know this feeling are probably in the missions now and probably don't remember it at all,, but I do.

I just want everyone to know that even you can be displaced and feel a great deal of sadness in your life.

Remember it isn't the experiences in life that are important,, it's the lessons we learn from them. Peace to all.

5 Days To Go

I'm down to 5 days until I move and I don't like this feeling. It's bad enough not knowing where I'm going, but then I know,, it'll be different.

I remember thinking about this when I knew the time I would spend here is running out,, I knew it would be a big adjustment to leave.

In my time here, I understand that sadness is just a feeling and there are many more feelings to come.

Hope you all have a happy holiday and remember to go to the shelter to feed the homeless, they need it. Peace.

6 Days To A New Feeling

It's 6 more days and then I be having some new feelings. I don't know where I'm going to live, but I'll figure out something.

I often wonder where I will go, but in the end, it doesn't matter, because the place that I end up living in will be different.

I must say that I do not like being homeless and I often wonder what the hell people think when they kill someone,, but that's their deal,, not mine.

Oh well, until tomorrow,, peace be with you always.

Moving On In 7 Days

I'm moving in 7 days. I don't know where yet, but I must move nonetheless. I am certain that the adventure is just beginning and not ending.

In the end, locations don't matter, it's the lessons we learn that do. Peace to all and happy thanksgiving,, even to those that have no food or home.

8 Days With A Roof

I have only 8 more days with a roof over my head and I'm feeling it.

I wonder where I'll land and what I'll do, but I know this,, I am free, are you? Peace.

Freedom While Being Homeless

I am free today. I am homeless in 9 days again. I make choices and I have boundaries.

It is rather interesting being free,, no home,, no commitments,, just free.

In the end, homelessness has its advantages,, being free is one of many. Peace.

Homeless In 10 Days

Well, it's only 10 more days and I'm homeless again. I don't know what to say, but here it is,, facing me.

I know that my time here is very limited and in the end, I must go. I wonder why people treat others the way they do,, then I realize that they were never loved.

In the end, situational living arrangements don't bother me,, not telling the truth does. Peace.

I'm Homeless Again

It's official,, I'm out in the cold,, the rain and the wind. I am losing my health insurance and I'm strangely okay with it.

I guess the ride is over and the reality is now. In the end, the feelings I have don't matter to those who have none.

I suppose I'll mosey along the trail and be present,, in the moment. Peace.

Homeless Song

I suppose that I, like everyone else I know,, has a song in them. I often wonder what song I sing and then I realize this song is one of awakening.

How is it possible to sing a song when you are without a home? How is it possible to sing a song when you are without anything?

I sing my song loudly so that I hear it,, no one else need hear it or feel it or even understand it,, I do.

In the end, my song is sung by me, for me, and about me. It is a song of my life,, not yours.

I hope that someday you will find happiness and joy and hope you remember that all you have can be taken away in a minute. Peace.

Homeless Poet

I begin to see transformation in my life. I begin to see awaking as I write and as I live.

Can I be free without the bondage of "possession chains" that tie me? Can I be free?

I write the feelings I have and I see the beginnings unfold in front of me. I am alive.

Oh hopeless mind, cluttering me to think, see not the day.

Feel the wind on my face and know the beginning is now.

Alive,, shout to the trees, lurk in "pretty people" land, stay not.

Feel free,, be present,, live.

May peace be with you always,, love life.

Old And Homeless

Today, I am old. I am near homelessness. I am feeling how it is that I am making this choice and then remember,, for me,, it is a choice.

At any moment my temporary "home" can be taken from me. At any moment, I can be back out there and then I remember, I'm old and homeless.

How is it my life worked out this way? How is it I am where I am? It is as they say, destiny,, or is it in the moment?

Old and homeless,, old and homeless. Peace.

Home And In The Moment

I'm in Houston today and I'm in the moment. I spent the weekend with a group of lawyers who work on themselves and are present.

I am amazed that I got so much rest,, I suspect that I did because I was with family and safe.

Did you ever feel bad about the troubles you have? I do, but sometimes I wonder if maybe, just maybe, the troubles I have are because I'm not in the moment.

In the end, whatever happens, home or no home, just be present in the moment. Peace.

Alone In A Crowd Of Pretty People

I'm all alone in a crowd of pretty people. I feel inadequate,,, with all these pretty people around me.

I wonder why I'm here,, yet, I feel that I am worthy of being here, even if I'm all alone in the crowd.

I suppose that most everyone at one time or another has not fit in,, yet,, I don't care about that,, I'm all alone because I see the pain of those "pretty people" trying ever so hard to fit into the herd.

I watch the leaders of the "pretty people" and see that when the rank and file leave for just a minute, the "pretty people" leaders make fun of those who just left,, (the non-pretty people).

When they return, the "pretty people" welcome them back into their group. I watch. I see. I feel a great deal of sadness for those "pretty people".

Is it any wonder I'm alone,, I don't wear the clothes the "pretty people" wear. I don't belong to the clubs the "pretty people" belong to. Yet,, I watch,, I hear,, I see,, and most of all I feel. Peace.

Fear Of Being Homeless And Alone

I often fear the biggest punishment in life,,, not being homeless,,, but being alone.

I sit with myself and listen to the wind,, but in the end,, I worry that I will not be loved.

I am worthy of love and I am not concerned about being homeless,, I will survive.

In the end, it is more important to love than to have a home.

I just hope that sometime in the future, life will reward me with a home,,, but more importantly,, I want to feel loved. Peace.

Home With The Tribe

I'm going to Dallas to meet with the tribe this weekend. At least I won't be homeless.

I often wonder if meeting with tribe members is the best way to ensure survival of an idea.

Anyway, for the price of gas, I'm going to Dallas. Peace.

Homeless Again Soon

I am going to be homeless again shortly. I see the end coming quickly for my short stay in Houston.

I guess in the end, being homeless is going to be a test again of my powers to survive and I feel like the ones on the streets become my friends.

I will no longer know the pleasure of a shower on a daily basis,, just the sponge bath.

I will no longer know the restful sleep,, just stress of keeping one eye open. I guess the journey I undertake soon will be the journey I have avoided for all of my life,, the journey to discover my instincts and survive. Peace.

I'm Going To Be Homeless Again

It looks like I'm going to be homeless again. Maybe, the crap that happens is just crap, but maybe it's the way it is.

In the end, homelessness is a real threat and I'm not dealing with it very well. Peace.

Homeless Breakfast

I'm running late and I'm very concerned that I won't get my breakfast. I often wonder what would happen if I miss breakfast again?

I'm just thinking,, that if you fuck with the bull, you get the horns,, whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, taking little steps is the way to go,,, sometimes, people want to take giant steps and they get no results,, taking little steps gets results.

My steps are simple,, I need to eat and eat I will. Peace.

Home Cooking

It ain't easy having home cooking when you don't have a home.

I have eaten beans out of the can and heated only a little bit from a fire I was able to make. It ain't much, but it is good.

I often say, give gratitude to the home cooking you get in life, you never know when it might stop.

Have a nice day and be kind to the homeless,, they might not have eaten today. Peace.

Homeless, Hungry And Blue

I'm hungry and I'll go get something to eat so why am I blue?

I guess that feeling blue is a way of expressing things that we all have,,, sometimes, it's happy, sometimes,, it's blue.

I don't know why I'm blue,, I just am. So today, I'll sit in the blue and just honor it.

Peace from the homeless lawyer who is feeling blue today.

Home And Feeling Safe

I remember the great feeling of being safe growing up where I had my home and family.

I understand the great healing power of roots and family.

What about those who are homeless? Do they have roots? Do they feel safe?

In the time I was homeless, and may be again shortly, I felt the insecurity and being alone. I was not safe.

Home is a safe place, a sanctuary,, not an abandoned building. Remember to feed the homeless, they are not feeling safe. Peace.

Happy Home That Is No Home

I remember what it was like growing up in a home. Now, I begin to wonder what it may be like without one and living?

Just when I get a favorable ruling from the bench,, "lawyer" tries to change that and no more home,,, it ain't right.

Oh well, I wonder at what price does it take to be an asshole? Is it worth the price to shout impressive crap to your client and then run and hide? More money for "lawyer" stirring the pot.

If I have no home,,, so be it. If I do,, so be it. In the end,, "crap" costs the client more and more and more.

Take away my home and begin battle. Peace.

Homeless Home

I fear the very thought of being homeless again, but it can happen. I suppose that being homeless once is enough to keep me on guard again for homelessness.

I do not feel very safe when those "Lawyers" steal the safe feeling I had leaving the hearing the other day.

I suppose that there is never enough to go around for users,, that they have always taken, taken, taken because no one ever stood up to them.

What will happen when I stand up? What will they do? Lie? Steal? Or will they understand the homelessness and be able to reverse roles with a homeless person?

In the end, those that know the feelings of the homeless, know the truth,,, those that don't are users. Peace.

Lawyer Trying To Make Me Homeless Again

I am upset at the lawyer who misstates the facts to the court. I was ordered possession of the Houston condo and now the "lawyer" wants me to pay for it. I can't. He is trying to make me homeless again.

I am sure the homeless feel trapped. First they get above the fray, then are pulled back by lawyers who lie.

I suppose that in the end, the condo in Houston will not get paid and be lost forever. I just want a place to stay,, is that too much to ask for?

Not Sleeping

I'm not sleeping very well in a hotel room while waiting to get back to trial. I "rented" this room with what little money I have and it shows.

Trying to sleep in a strange place, just brought back night terrors of sleeping on the bus stop bench of just a few days ago. It ain't pretty.

Anyway, I don't like this having to sleep in strange places and I'm off to Dallas for therapy after this trial.

Have a nice day and remember the trauma the homeless suffer,, I can tell you it's real. Peace.

On the Raod Again

It's off to the country I go to finish a trial and then it's off to Dallas.

I remember how it feels being homeless and living in a motel will be no different tonight.

I expect the trial to finish Tuesday and then I go to Dallas for the time of my life,,, therapy.

Have a nice day and be extremely nice to the homeless,, they are people also. Peace.

Sleep's Good In A Bed

I slept last night in a real bed,, not under a bridge or on a park bench and it felt good.

The problem I have though, is I keep waking up to the nightmares of my shoes being stolen and I keep kicking and kicking and kicking.

I wonder if being homeless hasn't activated an instinct buried deep down inside me,,, the instinct to sense energy while sleeping.

I know that is crazy, even earplugs don't help, but it is interesting that I wake up every time there is some noise or movement I sense.

Anyway, have a nice day and remember to help those less fortunate than yourself. Peace.

I've Got A Home

I've got a place to stay now. I get to live in Houston in a real home, with a real closet and a real bed.

No more sleeping in an abandoned building or on a park bench. A real bed, wow. So I will say this, in the end homelessness sucks, but you can get out of it.

I'm now going to go to sleep in a real bed, in a building that has heat and not have to worry about getting mugged or things stolen from me while I try to sleep.

Remember to help those homeless people, not everyone is as lucky as you reading this article. Peace.

Judgment Day For The Homeless Lawyer

Today is my temporary hearing in my divorce case. I am ready to have this matter over as soon as possible.

I know the divorce case will drag on and on and on but the temporary hearing should go rather quickly and I'll know what I can do after this hearing is over.

I just want to have a place to sleep and a bed to go to every night. This homeless crap gets old and I'm tired.

I will let you all know what happens and until then,, have a nice day and remember to help the homeless,, they are real people too.

Peace.

Home Is About To Change

My temporary hearing is tomorrow and I'm not feeling right. I am just not feeling present. I suppose that the current living arrangements, (none) are bothering me, or maybe my lack of space or any number of other things.

I just know I ain't feeling right and I sure as hell ain't feeling present. I guess that the entire homeless thing is messing with me.

I don't know what is wrong, but something sure as hell is. Anyway, I'm just needing a hug.

I hope you all have a nice day and remember that those who have lost their homes are still deserving of love and respect. Peace.

Another Delay

The temporary orders in my divorce case were supposed to be today. The hearing has been reset until Friday.

So it goes, more uncertainty, more trauma, more waiting, more homelessness.

I guess the toll of homelessness adds up on me and waiting is something I do not like to do. Especially when it involves my future.

I suppose that I can wait 2 more days and then let's see.

Hopefully, you'll never be homeless, but if you ever are, remember I love you, even if others don't.

Home Is Where I Sleep Now

Home is where I sleep now. I am unable to go to any house and call it home, so I call my home wherever I sleep.

It's kinda weird not having a central location to call home, but that's the way it is,, no home. I suppose that in the end, it won't really matter, I'm still trying to find some balance in my otherwise troubled life.

The balance I'm finding is quite simple,, I just keep on going. I no longer have the roots to say live in Houston or wherever,, I just say I'm present.

I hope that you can understand that a home is where you make it and not where you live,,, I've had to make that adjustment.

Have a nice day and please give a blanket to a homeless person,, it's gonna get damn cold soon. Peace.

My Home Is Now Being Homeless

I now have a home and my home is being homeless. It sucks. Plain and simple,, it sucks. I have this idea that someday, I will be able to stabilize in an environment that is secure and warm.

In today's world, being homeless is a blow to the ego, but more importantly, it's a lifestyle that I've come to adjust to temporarily. I do not think that being homeless will be the way I live the rest of my life, but right now, that's how I'm living.

I suspect that seeing great injuries in my life and great injustices will make me a better person, and at least just for now, I'm okay.

In the end, I will allow myself the absolute pleasure of knowing about life and not caring what "others" may think. I suppose that may or may not mean I'm homeless, but I will enjoy the lessons I learn along the way.

Have a nice day and stay safe and warm. Peace.

How Do I Shower?

Well, that's a good question,,, sometimes once or twice a day, but sometimes, not every day.

It seems when you are homeless, you do not get all the benefits of having a home,,, so I sometimes stay with friends and I get to shower daily.

Sometimes I sneak into health clubs and can shower there. Sometimes, I go to truck stops and shower there, sometimes I go and sponge bath.

It's interesting being homeless, but it is not for the light hearted. I recommend having water and a shower if you are to function in the world of the light.

Have a nice day and be kind to those who are less fortunate than you. Peace.

Homeless In Houston Again

I am in Houston and currently homeless, looking for a place to do some work. My friend lets me go to his office and use a desk there to place all my thoughts and work on my computer.

I have to draft a counter-claim in my divorce lawsuit and a arbitration complaint also. I have some matters that I must complete for some clients and prepare for trial in another county on Monday.

It is hell being homeless, not having a desk, nor a chair, nor a sanctuary I can retreat to and just be alone.

I spent the night staying awake all night and frankly,, I'm fucking tired. It seems that the more I struggle, the worse off it is.

I want this crap to end and yet, I will not just give up,, it ain't right. I'll hang out,, homeless,, waiting for justice to ride a slow mule.

Have a nice day and remember to feed the homeless, they really need it.

I'm Back In Houston

I'm back in Houston today and I'll have to figure out somewhere to sleep tonight. One of the key things about being homeless is having many friends.

I know that there are so many good and decent folk out there, that all I have to do is ask them for help and they will help me.

I suppose that in my experience as a homeless person, ego would get in the way of a place to stay, if I didn't have so many friends.

Here's what I mean by that, most people will let you stay with them for a day or two without much problem, but try and stay a few days or a month and guess what,, problem.

I suppose that because of the number of friends I have, I can stay with people for a few days, but on Monday I have a trial in a foreign county and I don't know anyone I can stay with.

So, I suppose that ego can get in the way of me asking for a place to stay and I'll have to figure out something.

Anyway, it's nice not to sleep under a bridge today, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. Have a nice day and remember to hug a homeless person,, they are human also.

Help Is On The Way

I've been informed that help is on the way. I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me.

I am certain that the help that will arrive is better than the situation I've been in lately.

On October 28th, the help that I'm seeking will arrive in court and allow me to decide on whether or not to remain in the area or move to somewhere else.

I suspect that whatever happens, the decision to settle or move somewhere else will be a welcome sight.

If you ever are faced with being homeless, don't give up hope,, always remember that you're a worthwhile human being and loved by me.

I hope you all can give some love to those who are less fortunate than you. Peace.

Keeping Warm

It's starting to get cold even here in Texas. I know that most people don't or won't believe me when I say it's cold that's coming, but it is.

I just want to stay warm and dry,, that's all. In times like this, I usually go indoors and stay dry. In the end,, I may end up in a shelter, but I'll cross that bridge when it happens if it does.

Anyway,, remember when it's cold and wet feed the homeless as they need food, shelter and clothing more than you do. Have a nice day and stay dry and warm this winter. Peace.

Questioning And Grieving

I still am questioning what happened, but now, I'm more in tune with my grief than anything. I often say in life sometimes you have to just sit in your own pain and feel it.

I did and I don't like it at all. What I'm finding out is that I want to take my body with me and not just spiritually grieve.

I am feeling better today and feel the grief along with taking my body with me out of the pain of grief.

Anyway, you may not be able to understand that, but I do and it helps me recover from being homeless.

I just want to say sometimes spiritual grief is not enough,, it also has to be physical. Have a nice day and remember to feed the homeless,, they too feel grief

Am I the Only Homeless Guy With Car Troubles?

I'm near San Antonio and having car problems. I hope the court will understand. It's difficult living out of my car and not having a place to stay, but what happens when your car has problems?

It used to be that I could fix most things wrong with a car, but lately,, since I don't have any tools, it's damn near impossible.

I wonder what happens when the dealership opens,, will there be enough money to fix the car? I suppose this happens to other people, but maybe this homeless guy will have to give up my car.

Anyway,, we'll see what happens. Thanks goodness a friend let me stay at his place last night. Have a nice day and remember to feed the homeless,, they really need it.

Trial On Monday,, I Wish I Had Another Suit To Wear

I am scheduled for trial on Monday and I just wish I had another suit to wear. How do I tell the jury that I am homeless, that I have only one suit to wear? How do I explain to them that I'm not crazy,, I mean after all, a lawyer can't possibility be homeless.

I'm wondering if anyone of them might be going through a divorce or might have gone through one,, then maybe they'll understand what I'm talking about.

Anyway, the truth about my situation doesn't matter,, what matters is my client gets a fair trial,,, end of story.

So remember to give your old clothes to the homeless, they really need them. Have a nice day and bring love to those who hurt.

Homeless In Another City

It's real scary being in another city and being homeless. I don't know many people and it is difficult being alone. I don't like that feeling. It is in the bottom of my stomach and moves up to the chest and just sits there.

I am certain that many homeless people have this feeling. Anxiety, loneliness and fear,, not a good combination. Being alone sucks,, but being homeless sucks even more. Have a nice day and stay warm,, the winter's coming.

All Hell Is Gonna Break Loose

I am about to get ready for a hearing this morning and I haven't slept a wink.

The hearing involves my divorce and will determine the living arrangements I will be recieveing for the next few months pending the outcome of this divorce.

I am feeling anxious and not certain about what will happen to me, but it is time to proceed. I wonder how it would feel to sleep in a real bed again and not a park bench or concrete floor. I wonder about the feeling of not having to sleep with one eye open, just to prevent myself from getting robbed.

I wonder about these things and then I realize that being homeless sucks,, it is freeing, but there is a price and that price is no sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if sleeping in the wilderness wouldn't be easier or safer, but I know that in the end,, I am stuck here until this matter resolves itself.

I am sure that there are those who say,, just quit fighting,, give it all to the soon to be ex. I wonder if those people have ever been homeless? I have and this ain't right what's happening.

All hell is gonna break loose and I want justice. Have a nice day and remember to buy a homeless dude a sandwich. Peace

Why Be Homeless?

I suppose that many of my friends and others don't understand me right about now. They would ask,, I'm sure,, why the hell are you homeless? What's up with that?

I'll tell you, I've been thrown out of my home, thrown out of my partnership position and I'm not real certain where I'm going right now. It's kinda like not knowing what's happening and being in shock.

I don't know why, I don't understand why and I don't fully accept what has happened to me. So, in the end,, I'm homeless.

I suppose that over time, I might put roots down, but right now,, my world has been shattered and it's difficult for me to understand that with any certainty. What I'm saying is this,, homeless people who lose their house are in shock and it takes time to repair the trauma that has happened.

Most homeless people who have experienced the trauma have not undergone the proper grief work necessary to deal with those feelings of shock and thus remain homeless.

This weekend, I hope to do some trauma work and then see what happens. All I can say is this,, I'm still in shock. Have a nice day and appreciate the roof over your head,, you can lose it anytime. Peace.

Not Much Sleep Last Night

It is a very slow morning,, one that takes a lot of time to get moving. I didn't sleep so well last night and I've got court this morning. I've got to get dressed, clean up as best as I can and drive to a court.

It is one of those things I'm just getting used to,, waking up, quickly getting ready,, then driving to where I need to be. The only thing I don't like is the fact my suit is getting very wrinkled. I need to find a 1 hour dry cleaner, or a dry cleaner that I can leave my suit and pick it up later in the day. What will happen when I have a trial and only show up in one suit?

I guess I'll go to Goodwill and see what clothes (suits) may be available there. Sometimes, excellent suits are available for very reasonable prices,, hopefully I'll find one.

Anyway, I'm going to have to acquire some luggage other than trash bags and that's what I'll look for today.

Have a nice day and remember to give your old clothes to the homeless, they really need them.

Okay, Now What?

It seems that this morning is one where I awaken and have nothing to do, so I spend time at the book stores reading, reading, reading and sleeping. I am amazed at how many people go there for the social environment, yet there are a number of people there who are homeless.

I can see the homeless ones immediately and they see me. They are afraid of being found out, so they try and hide among the living who go there to socialize and drink coffee and be seen.

I know many of them, yet I don't know any of them. I am surprised at the knowledge some of these folks have,, especially since they just read and read and read all day long into the night, until they are kicked out.

I just want you readers to know,, not every homeless guy or gal is a bum,, some are quite well educated,, just down on their luck. Remember to never be mean to the homeless, you too can go there.

Not A Bad Night

I did not have a bad night last night,, it was kinda okay. I was able to score a pad and a shower, so I'm doing better this morning.

I ate some light things like nuts, fruit and berries and it's probably good, because I can stand to lose some weight. Today, I'll hang out at a friend's office and then go to Borders or Barnes & Nobles.

Peace.

Meet My Friend Be-Bop

I have a new homeless friend,, his name is Be-Bop. I meet Be-Bop while looking for suitable shelter arrangements and Be-Bop and I kinda hit it off. First of all, Be-Bop is not his real name, but that's his street name.

He is more or less the hero of hobos and takes care of those who are decent folk and need the most help. I am one of his recruits. We met while I was staying in a building that was near completion. A nice $300,000.00 town home where some one will make a decent family and have their "American Dream" fulfilled.

I got to thinking last night that it ain't so bad if you can find high ground and a wind and rain break,, also if you can sleep lying down, instead of standing up. So I found a near completed town home that will remain my abode for a few days until the "dick" throws me out.

Be-Bop found me asleep and woke me up, telling me what I'm doing wrong and why. We got to talking and he asked me about my homeless situation and about the horrific divorce that left me homeless and he shared part of his story. A veteran of foreign wars and a college graduate, Be-Bop ain't that dumb.

Anyway, we decided it would be a good thing if we hung out together and patrolled the area together. In my world,, having a partner is necessary. Be-Bop and I decided I need a hobo name, so I'm kinda asking you readers to help name a hobo, namely me.

We begin looking after some of the street people who come out of the woodwork at strange hours of the day and night. We check in on Pops, a 79 year old homeless man and some of the other characters and find them all alive, thank God.

Be-Bop is usually the one who calls the coroner after he discovers some one who didn't make it through the night. So on it goes, the endless cycle of survival on the streets. Tonight, I'll make it back to the town home and stay there.

Tomorrow morning I have court and I need to be near a bathroom for the morning and then I can at least sponge bathe. Right now, I'm getting ready to take a nap in the bookstore. More later as the great American homeless adventure continues. It's kinda funny, because someone gave me a dollar yesterday and I didn't even wash his windows. Wow,, to be homeless. Have a nice day and remember the land of the homeless is just one paycheck or divorce away.

My First Fight

I am not very proud of myself this day as I got into a fight with someone who was trying to take my shoes as I was sleeping. It ain't very nice and I am ashamed of what I had to do,, but those are my shoes and that's all I've got, except sandals for foot wear.

It started as I was sleeping on a bus stop bench that is covered and keeps the wind and rain off me. I get comfortable and begin to fall asleep, when I notice someone is trying to remove my shoes. I begin kicking the crap out of them from a lying down position and one or two of my kicks land dead center.

I get a kick or two in and the perp runs off to wherever he or she is off to and I notice that some of my tee shirts are gone also,, probably taken by the same perp.

Anyway, it ain't real safe out here, so I call a friend and score a pad for the evening. It's dry and then I get a shower in the morning. I'm grateful to those who help and to those who care,,, what I can't understand is why those that are mean do this to others. I guess reversing roles with them allows me to see them for who they are,, nothing but bullies and full of fear. Anyway, have a nice day and remember, you too can fall, so be grateful for those little miracles like shelter, food and a warm shower.

It's Damn Cold And Its Raining

It's damn cold and its raining and I'm not in a good mood. My soon to be ex is sitting comfortably at the house and I'm trying to find a place to crash tonight that isn't soaking wet.

Being homeless isn't so bad,, you get used to it, but it's bad when it rains and is cold, like tonight. I got the extreme pleasure of eating today for free and I need to share with you how I do that. It's really simply, I go to a store like HEB or Sam's and then sample everything. I can get them to give me a glass of water and then I make all the rounds eating food.

Some of the food isn't that good, but when it's free,, well, who cares. Anyway, after I eat, I've got to set about looking for a place to sleep. I usually go to the library or a bookstore and hang out until 9:00 or 10:00 when they close, then I go over to one location I found when I'm in Houston. This location is located between 2 stores and is basically 3 walls and a windbreak, but no roof.

I get ready to sleep and have learned to sleep standing up, so that I don't get caught by the security guards. I am able to get about an hour or two of shut eye, before the "others" came and try and run me off. Usually, they don't, but as my clothes get more and more frayed,, I'll look like any other homeless guy,, it's just that I have a law degree.

Anyway, it's raining and I've at least got a plastic bag to kinda keep me dry, and thank goodness for the umbrella someone threw away yesterday.

As for me,, I have really found a new appreciation for the homeless,, as I am now among them. Be safe and remember,, you too can fall.

Dumpster Diving

There's a new sport I'm getting used to,, it's called dumpster diving. It ain't really that bad and it goes something like this.

I walk up to a large trash dumpster and lift the lids. I look around and when no one is looking, I jump in. Inside is a whole new world of life and things just are never what they appear to be. I find some things that I can use later for shelter, including umbrellas, blankets and even one old mattress.

All the while, I'm in my street clothes, ones that don't matter if they get dirty or not. Anyway, it ain't bad until you run into others who take the sport more professionally than me. Those folks are out to hurt you if you get into their dumpster.

Today, I got lucky,, no one around to be too harsh on me and with the sun shining, it ain't all that bad. I try and check the dumpsters near the restaurants first, then the higher class dumpsters.

Ain't life grand when you come this far. Remember, the "bum" you see dumpster diving today, may be your neighbor of yesterday. Just something to think about. Peace.

Sleeping On The Park Bench

I'm in Texas again and this night, I don't have anywhere to sleep, so I'll attempt to camp out on the park bench. I've really never done this before, except in college when I got pretty drunk,, so I'm new to this.

Anyway, here goes nothing. I'm trying to set the proper qualifications for sleeping on a park bench and first of all,, I've got to say,, there are none.

In the beginning, I wanted to know the proper way and etiquette in selecting a park bench,, but as I go on,, I find out there ain't none. It's pretty much first come,, first serve. As I'm the new homeless guy, I've got to pay the "fees" to the others who inhabit the dark.

One of the leaders wants more money because it's a nicer park than some of the other parks. I offer something of value,, a hat made of tin foil, but he says he has several. So I offer him $1.00 and he accepts. I am now in one of the best benches in the park. I've got to figure out about a pillow and some blankets,, so tonight, I'm using my coat and newspaper for blankets.

Anyway,, I've figured out you've got to make reservations early,, else the primo benches fill up quickly. More about this later,, I'm drifting into the land of sleep.

Home to Texas And Homeless

So I’m thinking that maybe it’s time to go back to Texas. I don’t really belong in Virginia and maybe I’m doing the best that I can do in the area I’m in, but it ain’t good enough.

I really miss Texas and that’s why I’m on a airplane heading back there. I suppose that what I’ve learned is the biggest problem I face being homeless is not having enough food and being able to pay for the expensive meals.

I’m able to stay in the motels or with friends at least right now, but ultimately, I will run out of meals that I can eat and pay for. I guess that I’ll live with friends as long as I can, then I’ll see what happens next. I guess it’s inevitable, living above my means, but for right now, I’m doing okay.

It appears that my money is running out and I’m getting tired of eating at restaurants, so I’ll have to eat at friends houses or at the shelters.

Anyway, like I’m saying the biggest expense I have right now is eating. I’ll keep you posted as I go and promise you readers this,, as time goes on, I’ll figure out more and more ways to survive and eating will not be a problem. Have a nice day and hug a homeless guy,, you may be next.

Homeless And Sleeping In Virginia

It seems that I'm in Virginia and I'm still homeless, but I'm sleeping in Virginia. It's not so bad, the weather is nice and the colors are beautiful, but I'm not sure I can stay here. I believe that in the end, the other homeless people will accept me and allow me space to grow into my homelessness.

I suppose that while I'm homeless, I'll be be doing what comes naturally, eating, sleeping, taking a shower and living right. I'll be working on me and getting better to understand what I'm doing and why. I don't know how many other homeless people work on themselves, but I am.

I am not going to be denied in my ability to get better and if homelessness is what I need to get better, then that's what I will do.

I can only say this, I'm wanting to decide where to go next and what to do next, and given time,, I'll learn. I can be whoever I want to be and go wherever I want to go,, ain't homelessness grand? Have a nice day, cause the evening is always difficult sleeping in libraries or at the theater.

So What Happens When You Try To Vote?

I guess being homeless is difficult when you try and vote, or get a driver's license, or any ID card from any governmental agency. I am shocked when I tried to get an ID and they asked me where I live. I'm feel like I'm getting the run around as I tell them that I'm homeless and really don't have an address, but they were not impressed.

I suppose the government is not capable of dealing with someone like me, someone who tells the truth about myself. I answer the questions truthfully and guess what,, they can't handle it. I mean, why is it important that others need to know absolutely the exact location I place my head at night.

I am thinking that in the end, someone must have to know,, probably some guy who has never had a life and is tied to making sure every T is crossed and every i is dotted. I wonder what would happen if this guy had one thing out of order,, would it throw him over the edge? Would he panic and not be able to respond to a new situation?

Why in the hell does it matter,, how bout I live in the United States and I'm a citizen. I don't own anything, so I don't have to pay taxes or bills, so why does it even matter? I suppose that the census is important to some, why not do it by phone number or some number randomly assigned to quantify each person and therefore label them as a citizen.

And what about a senator or representative to represent us in Congress? I want my representative to live on a park bench in the capital. Does it matter anymore,, whether we arbitrarily decide where we live, versus where we claim our park bench is?

All I'm saying is this,, be damn sure you know when you need to be counted and do your best to live life on its fullest terms, naked. Have a nice day and remember to be nice to the homeless guy,, it may end up being you someday.

It's Kinda Cool Here

You know, I wouldn't mind living here in Virginia, as it is time to spread my wings and fly. I kinda like being homeless, it's really freeing. I guess the biggest thing was losing my utter sense of living up to other's expectations.

I mean, it's like a whole new prospective,, not having to live up to other's expectations. I am certain that in life the most important things we do are for ourselves,, yet we mostly like to do things that give us status or standing in a certain community in which we want to belong.

Now I ain't a genius, but it seems to me that once you loose that "status" of having to fit in or live up to some one's standards, you become free. I mean, if you really think that money and a certain car or temporary housing location will make you a better person or "catch" the person of your object's desire,, you're crazier than me.

I normally don't like to preach, but I can tell you this,, losing a home is not the end of the world,, it's the beginning of a new life. One that can only be appreciated with a healthy outlook. A life changing event of one sort or another is important to achieve happiness. One that completely strips your old life style away from you and changes it drastically is one that makes you a more complete person. It requires you to seriously examine you.

I am certain that each time I examine myself,, I learn more about my life and my relationships with others. I learn that I am liked by some people and not by others, and I'm okay with that. I feel important when I am alone sitting in my pain, or standing in my joy and I'm comfortable with that.

I guess what I'm saying is this,, if you live your life for others,, you'll never live it for yourself. Have a nice day and remember,,, life is an adventure, choose wisely and learn from your experiences. It's not the experiences in life that are important,, it's the lessons you learn from them.

Ain't Life Grand Being Homeless?

There's a hell of a lot to be thankful for this evening. I'm in Virginia and have been having quite the time with therapy. I'll bet that there ain't many homeless people who do as much therapy as I do, let alone any people who have homes.

It ain't easy staying near the therapy center and keeping showered. Luckily, a friend of mine in Virginia let's me hang out with him and let's me take a shower at his place. I don't know how long that will last, but I should be able to hold out at least till Tuesday.

Meanwhile, back on the home front, I've been served with my divorce pleadings via email. Wow, what a way to go. The electronic age is upon us once and for all. I guess since I'm homeless, the service of the petition was done this way.

It says I can't do a number of things, but it doesn't provide me with a home,, that's something I'll have to ask for in court when we get there.

Anyway, it's rather nice up here this time of year. It's actually more humid than Houston right now and I'm not sure that is good when it freezes up here. I have to bet that my fellow homeless people don't fair so well in the winter.

I've only got a thin jacket,, it's a damn good thing I ain't staying up here this winter. So remember to eat healthy and right now, I don't live in a dumpster, but that too can change. Happy hunting and have a safe place you can go just for you. Till we write again tomorrow. Peace, or is it peas?

Homeles At Night

Well, it's happening,, homeless at night for the first time. I'm all alone without anywhere to sleep, so I lay my head down on my air mattress and try and remember what it feels like to be in the comfort on my home where I spent so many years of my life.

I imagine the paintings and antiques that used to populate the home, and then I remember the animals who lived with me and I try and remember to say thanks for the great blessings I've had and the blessings of being homeless. I remember that one who thinks they have it all, may have nothing and I'm strangely at ease just for tonight.

It wasn't that long ago that I ruled my domain, now various animals and insects rule that very domain and I'm trespassing on their turf. I'm being told by them that I'm the intruder, not the ruler, and I'm not welcome here. It's kinda nice except when it rains or I have to sleep in the city. I become a night person, trying to sleep during the day in the library and other places I can nap.

I eat mostly good food and I'm not hungry yet, but when the money gets tight, I'll have to find some public works project that will feed me and cloth me. I really do enjoy being alone though I guess for the last few years, I was alone and just didn't know it,, however it might feel.

Anyway, I'm learning new things and survival tools that come in handy every day. Hope you all enjoy the day as I'm now a member of the night. Have a wonderful time in your world and remember,, it only takes a turn of fortune to join my world. Till tomorrow, live safe and be safe.

Wow,, Homeless And A Lawyer

I didn't think it would ever happen to me,, being homeless and also being a lawyer, but it has and here I am today writing my first blog about it.

I am homeless through the modern miracle of divorce and I'm not very happy about it, but until court, there's not much I can do about it. I have to represent myself, because I have no money or ability to hire an attorney, so we'll see.

As time goes on, I'll write about the struggles of being homeless and trying to practice law. I expect that in the end, the information will help those who are faced with the tragedy of loss of job or home survive. Anyway, that's my hope.

I wish everyone would have a peaceful day and remember to help those who are down trot ten, you too can fall and be no different than them.